intending to burn

>.

Fri, 26 Aug 2005 16:03:49 GMT

I feel so desolate lately. And I really hate to complain. I find it hard to tell my friends how I feel because of how I've been treated for feeling this way in the past. And I know my friends are not like those people, but I still can't shake the way it hurt back then. I wish people would pay attention to me. Not for being upset. Just for being me. I feel like I'm the main party in almost every friendship that I have. I feel like I'm being replaced in those friendships. Like people are trying to get away from me. Well just fucking run, because you're the friends that I don't need. I don't want to be hurt all the time because I have friends that break plans to go hang out with newer friends. There are 3 days you have each weekend to hang out with people. I only asked for a fraction of one. So fuck you because this is how it always works out. Fuck you because I'm tired of letting it bother me. Fuck you because I'm tired of crying myself to sleep, waiting for you to call. Fuck you because you never do. Fuck you because I don't need friends that upset me. Fuck you because you brought back all these feelings I haven't had in so long. Fuck you for pretending that I'm not there. Fuck you for keeping it all a secret. Fuck you for giving me hope and taking it away.

FUCK YOU for equating me with everyone else when I considered you a close friend.

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Sun, 31 Jul 2005 16:52:04 GMT

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Tue, 19 Jul 2005 22:41:02 GMT

I don't know why but just recently I seem to be so desperate. ..well I don't seem to be.. I am desperate. I could so go for a younger guy right about now. Got a couple in mind...

Wed, 13 Jul 2005 21:16:08 GMT

...and you know how you don't realize how deep the feelings run until there's someone else in the picture..?

Welcome

Wed, 13 Jul 2005 17:46:31 GMT

And she writes the story one day at a time. But tomorrow it won't be over, nor the day after that.